Spring Cleaning


Ah, Spring Cleaning.  The work, the deep clean… the results.  I don’t do a deep clean specifically every Spring, but this year my 5 year old seems keen on the idea.  If he’s into it, I’m into it.  Did I ever tell you about my fiasco of an experience hiring a company to clean my house last year?  I am definitely open to deep cleaning my own house, just not by a cleaning company ever again!  Since my energy levels are much better after starting to heal through BVT (Bee Venom Therapy), it’s tempting to jump the gun and do too much at once.  Must. Control. Myself.

The sun is shining today, it’s exceptionally warm for what is still Winter in Wisconsin.  My God, the tulips that don’t normally bloom until mid to late May are already poking up an inch above the ground!  The signs of Spring are here, loud and clear.

That brings me to the seasonal task of spring cleaning.

I have an awful habit of satisfying my urge to deep clean not by tidying communal rooms like the living room or bathroom, but by emptying out dresser drawers and kitchen cabinets.  I have no idea why I go deep and start over in places with doors, the places that can easily be hidden away.  But I do.  Maybe it’s a spiritual parallel — I may look like a hot mess with bed head, no makeup, clothes that don’t match on a color wheel from Mars…  but my insides are constantly being worked on, and deep work.

Welcome to my deepest, darkest drawer…  my medicine cabinet.bento box3

It’s really a bento box with these cool little modular compartments that pop out to attention when asked, and tuck away neatly when coaxed.  So sweet.  I keep my meds in here.  This box measures  approximately 6″ x 11″.  For the sake of disclosure, this is not my main box of medications and supplements; this is one of two boxes of EXTRA meds.

Since my list of daily supplements and meds has shifted since meeting with my doc a few days ago, it was time to revamp the box.

I dumped out every bottle I had — lord is it overwhelming.  I delicately wiped the inner fabric clean of all dust, random bits of my kiddo’s glitter and one kitty’s shedded claw (how, HOW did that get in there?!)  I wiped with love, because this box is sacred.  These supplements are building me up.  Building up a body that has been nibbled and picked at for too long by a rough combination of viral, fungal, parasitic and multiple bacterial infections.  MY CELLS CALLED AND WANT THEIR MICRONUTRIENTS BACK, OKAY LYME, GOT IT?! *slams the phone down*

bento box1Here is the big box.

It measures 12″ x 12″ — my main box of meds and supplements I take every day.  When I was first diagnosed with Lyme Disease, I took almost twice as many different items to build up my depletions, and this box could not contain them all.  Now there is a little wiggle room between these bottles.  Every half inch of space is a little sigh of relief from me.  Who would have ever thought that my big Spring milestone would be being able to shake, shake, shake those bottles around in the box!

THIS was my Spring Cleaning.

It doesn’t have to be much, but the deep cleaning is always worth it.

Wishing you sunshine and bird songs in your lives, my friends —  and the sweet release of deep cleaning even the smallest thing.



Spring Cleaning

Back to the Blog

Friends, I have been away for far too long.  I wrote some posts in draft form and didn’t come back to them.

I have been with the bees. Over the winter, I have been feeling some relief and returning to some of my responsibilities. Excited to do it, so my focus was there. But all those updates for you on how my bee venom therapy has been going since July 2015, well, they were on hold. Just drafts.

I’m back to blogging again and will post them all. Sorry I left you in the lurch.  The thrust of it all is that BVT is working for me. What started out with one test sting last July, is now 11 stings, 3 times per week along either side of my spine. When special health situations arise, I sting in a way that targets the troubled area. I am still following the detox protocol on non-sting days. In fact, I am typing this to you while in the tub, having my usual bath with hydrogen peroxide and epsom salts. Ahhhhh.

Photo courtesy of www.dudeiwantthat.com
Photo courtesy of http://www.dudeiwantthat.com

I love that you are still with me as I journey down this road lined with many, many beehives!  All the rest I will fill you in on, post by post.




Back to the Blog

Letting Go

Early on in my Bee Venom Therapy journey, perhaps because of how peacefully I entered into this treatment, letting go has fallen into my lap and is sitting there like a cute kitty (“cute” + “kitty” = redundant, warm and fluffy) curled up and waiting for lots of pets.  But that’s not how it started.

      Pet the kitty

Living with Lyme Disease is complicated.  The longer the spirochetes are living in a person’s system, the wider the range of possibilities as to where they will reside and which body systems they will royally fuck up for the kind host who gives much more than a blood meal.  I have given these buggers a 5’6″ cellular buffet for 21 years.  Most Lyme patients are told indirectly and explicitly that their aches and pains and whatever seems “off” is just in their heads, that all tests are normal and they have nothing wrong with them other than needing a psych consult. After what feels like a long drawn out wild goose chase searching for a diagnosis, Lymies are fed up, tired from the chase, and wounded from medical professionals dismissing and not believing them.  So us Lymies, we search.  We search for answers.  We search for a diagnosis from our home computers.  We search for anyone out there like us. Every ache, pain, and body change is noted.  We pay attention to the details in hopes of finding the missing link that will help our doctors help us.  How hard it is to let go of a confounding type of pain and suffering.

Enter Bee Venom Therapy (BVT).  It has helped me let go of the details.  This is not how I started out with BVT, but I wised up quickly.  In the beginning of this treatment as with every Lyme treatment I have tried to date, I wanted to know everything about it.  As if somehow the knowledge would make the bee medicine work better??!? Crazy me!

Thankfully, I can’t.  I can’t know it all, I can’t study every aspect of the bee venom.  I can’t learn how it acts on the body on a microscopic level.  As much as I want to know, the information simply is not available.  So instead of researching the healing properties of mellitin, instead of studying which enzymes and peptides are viable in live honey bee venom but not in the injectable format, instead of looking for studies on what the peptides and enzymes do within the human body, I am letting go.

This is not a meditative practice or a type of high road that ought to be taken.  I’m here to tell you that letting go is possible. More than just a pipe dream or mind over matter. It has already happened early on for me with BVT treatment and plan to keep this peaceful momentum going.

Letting go means I:

  • continue with the BVT Lyme Protocol and observe the changes
  • continue to hope for and watch for signs of healing
  • lessen my urges to break it down into explanations of medical cause and effect
  • wait a few days before officially freaking out when something unexpected happens after stinging
  • be patient with the process

My best healing moments, days and weeks with BVT are when I let go of my body sensations and body changes due to stinging, and just roll with it.  Because the bees are taking care of it for me, I give it all up to Mother Nature.  SheLetting Go wins every time.

Letting go has been the most powerful piece of BVT for me.

Let Go of all your previous notions and Observe. Give your body time to get used to the Bee Medicine and simply Observe the interesting things it does.  I am glad that I don’t know, and can’t know, exactly how the bee venom works.

Letting Go

30 Days of Bee Venom Therapy

BVT stings running the length of the spine along both sides
This is what the first 30 days of BVT Lyme Protocol looks like —  the start of an abacus.

After one month of Bee Venom Therapy using Amber Rose’s Lyme Protocol, it is time to reflect on the process of BVT and how it is affecting me.  No deep thoughts here, no extended time needed to sort through my thoughts.  It’s easy to see my progress after the first thirty days.  I feel it, I know it — it is much more than hopefulness.  Change has arrived.

My three worst constant symptoms have lifted every so slightly, and the effect is cumulative: Fatigue, Insomnia, and Digestive Issues (constipation due to chronic inflammation)
Even better, I am spontaneously humming, singing and laughing from time to time. I truly did not realize how dark my world has been, until I started laughing again at moments in my daily life.

This humming, singing and laughter is a huge “tell” that my health is returning.  Just being able to enjoy life was, I guess you could say, physically impossible for a while. Physically impossible for a few years. Humour is healing, but you can’t force it — believe me, I have tried  using laughter to improve my mood and lessen pain but to no avail.  Being joyless is living in a sickly state, the doldrums being a result of the illness (i.e. Lyme Disease and its co-infections) sapping my life force away from me.  Even though I had myself convinced that my dulled and joyless existence was my own fault and my own doing, it really is not, and was not, a mind over matter thing. There is a gut-brain connection that is weighted much more in biology than it is in free will.  The gut is sometimes referred to as the “second brain” because that is where most of the body’s immunity and neurotransmitters are made.  The bee venom has improved my health, and seeing this lifting of both my mind and my emotions, I know that the medicine of the honey bees must be healing my gut.

The first thirty days of BVT take the patient on a learning curve of understanding and being able to follow the Lyme Protocol as it is designed; in getting used to the concept of having insects sting you when you were taught as a child to fear them intensely; in figuring out how to sting yourself.  In figuring out how to make peace with the death of these tiny creatures in exchange for getting your life back.  In wondering if you’ll survive the itching phase.  Wondering if you can keep up with the commitment, stinging 3 times per week for 2-3 years.  These are the first 30 days.  You get through it, because the bees know what to do and little by little, help our bodies heal from the ravages of chronic Lyme Disease.

30 Days of Bee Venom Therapy

Bravery is… A Tear in the Eye (Strong Heart, Strong Will)

Recently someone at church found out about my starting apitherapy.  He said, “You are very brave.”  I had mixed feelings about that comment!

At first reaction, the thoughts in my head were “Brave? Nah, that doesn’t describe me, I would never call myself brave. How could someone call me brave when I see it as desperation or a last resort?”  What I actually said in an effort to protect myself from possible criticism was, “They say there is a fine line between bravery and stupidity.”  Truth is, I don’t believe that statement to be true in my case at all and it was merely a self-negating comment.  I MUST STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT MY TREATMENT.

Beekeeper working with his bees without protective gear
BRAVERY: Mr. Beekeeper, you don’t mind a little sting?  Might happen.

Later that day, my eyes welled up with tears thinking how true it is — yes, I am brave.  Brave to try a non-mainstream therapy.  Brave to do this without research trials.  Brave to follow my intuition as the master leader.  Brave to make the 2 to 3 year commitment that is required to heal from Lyme Disease using the honey bees.

It feels good to be brave.

Bravery is… A Tear in the Eye (Strong Heart, Strong Will)

Sting Session #3

2 stings to the lower back
Stung twice

This is my first time returning to the lower back. This photo was taken about about 5 minutes after stinging, showing some redness.

I do think I’m seeing subtle changes in certain symptoms the day after stinging… time will tell.

After the stingers were removed, the redness filled in more of the space over the spine à la “connect the dots.”

Today’s stinging session has made me suuuuuuuuuuper tired. Good night all!

Sting Session #3

Sting Session #2

On July 12, 2015 I asked to be stung by honey bees.

Two days later, I came back.

More stings, please.


In the words of Oliver Twist:  

          Please Sir, may I have some more?

What? What? What? Wants some MORE?!

Today was my first time stinging the upper back. I have studied spine charts trying to learn which thoracic vertebrae and nerve pathways we are stinging each time, but it’s not gelling in my brain.  No idea which vertebrae we matched up with but the good news is that I didn’t even feel the stinger go in on the left side!

Definitely felt the venom traveling vertically on the left side, as soon as the stinger was in. Nothing was visible but I could feel very clearly where the sensation was traveling. And some “Oooooo, there’s the burn” 5 minutes after being stung.

Sooooooooooo much easier than the first sting session.

One sting on either side of the spine
                                                     One sting on either side of the spine
Sting Session #2